i miss being at the chalet with all the rest of them. i want to go back there to laugh and roll around...i want to play twister and get twisted...want to bbq on the ground and run around snapping photos...i just want to play so hard that my brains fall out and i stop thinking about missing my friends. right now, i'm feeling lonely. it's been like that since the tenth. december is a bad time of the month and oddly everything seems to happen around december. people having problems with people closest to them.

//today, your msgs made me tear.
i know my replies were chirpy,
but i also know tt -
you know i'm pretending

//andshe'sgonemissingagain.fuckyou,youdamnbitch.isitsohardtosparemeyourmiserablefivecentstojustfuckingreplytomymessages?isitsowrongtojustfuckingreply?tellme,whydoyoualwaysdothistome?whydoyougoawaywhenineedyouaround?whydoyouapologisewheneverythinghashappened,thewholeworldhastumbleddown,andi'minawreck,andyousaysorryfornotbeingaround.ihateyou.ireallydo.