i'm starting to like being alone. being alone gives me a sense of achievement. like some kind of power over my current vulnerable emo state. a form of control, or so to say. being alone, i start to observe, to scrutinize every detail on every person walking around me. this silent observation which they know not of, robs them of the ability to fight for their rights, of the chance to rebutt. and that makes me feel superior over them.


being alone forces me to APPEAR nonchalent about the things going on around me. this so-called "strength" is what i'm feeding on right now. real or fake, whatever it takes to help me stand up again. call it self deceit, but if it helps, why not?


i want to leave everything that hurts behind. everything.




Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out
Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out




ezdi's nick reads: something very sexy about power
certainly. and power is what i desire right now.