feeling kinda lost, kinda confused, kinda empty.
i hate the fact that i cannot lie.
i also hate the fact that i cannot keep my feelings and emotions to myself.
i am not as emotional as people think me to be. i choose to be emotional at times. but i can still control myself. it's only a matter of when i choose to let my head take control of situations.
i hate the fact that my honesty has hurt someone else. (thus over here, head has made a mistake)
sometimes it doesn't kill to tell a white lie.
maybe some things are better left unsaid.
sometimes i shouldn't be true to myself. (this time round, heart has made a mistake)
sometimes i should be less selfish and care more about the people who love me.
both my heart and my head failed me when i most needed them.
blessed is he whose heart and head doesn't fail him when he needs them.
yank my heart out of it's place,
cut my brain out as well.
let them throb together on the table top and run dry.
wouldn't that be a beautiful sight.
blatant gore. marvellous.


i wish i could turn back time,
go back to those J1 days, where i kept things to myself.