it's times like this i ask myself why i'm holding on. will tomorrow be worth the wait?


is it the dreams i have? the plans i've made which haven't been carried out, or am i simply hoping for a magical random bubble of splendous glitter to float past and pop over my head and make every single little thought, negative feeling, and insecurity go away?


so much heartache but all of it can be taken away just by a single hug. and then when you leave and i'm all alone, i feel like banging my head against the wall for not saying the things i wanted to say. and it all gets boggled up inside. and the feelings from the different events just jumble up inside. and now i can't even pin point anything.


but what am i complaining about? i seem happy enough. to others it's almost perfect. i talk about us like everything's absolutely wonderful. i make-believe that there can be nothing better than you. a splash of paint against a white wall may be seen as vandalism. yet i choose to see it as a piece of artwork.


i talk to you about you, me, us, and our future. but the actual future i see in my head? it's a blank.


and i know that tomorrow when i wake up, everything will go back to normal. everything will continue the way it has always been. absolutely perfect. love love, and more love.


when make-believe becomes reality, you don't really know what's real and what's not anymore.