i've been playing with eraser shavings. rolling them all into one sticky clump and flattening it. it's disgusting i know. but it's probably the only fascinating thing that can be done at 5.20am in the morning.


i would like to buy ten different colors of play-doh. i love the smell of play-doh.


i would like to go for a swim at 7pm later today but i can't find anyone to swim with me. i need company in changing rooms at night. i hate the sound of dripping taps and showerheads. i hate the sound of running water. i'm afraid of murderers with knives and ghosts waiting to pounce on me as i turn at the corner.


i would like to take a glimpse at the year 2006 so that i wouldn't have to worry so much now.


i would like to go out with you cause i miss you a whole damn lot but we both know i can't.

i would like to go out with my baby and listen to him telling stories which i've heard a hundred times before while i sit quietly and don't say a thing.



i don't really feel like talking.


i would like to take time out from everyone and everything for a week. i'm tired and confused and boggled down by everything.


i think i'm going to stop playing with eraser shavings. my dad is up and awake and preparing for work...
and as usual, i'm still not asleep.

how could anyone so pretty be so handsome at the same time?

it's times like this i ask myself why i'm holding on. will tomorrow be worth the wait?


is it the dreams i have? the plans i've made which haven't been carried out, or am i simply hoping for a magical random bubble of splendous glitter to float past and pop over my head and make every single little thought, negative feeling, and insecurity go away?


so much heartache but all of it can be taken away just by a single hug. and then when you leave and i'm all alone, i feel like banging my head against the wall for not saying the things i wanted to say. and it all gets boggled up inside. and the feelings from the different events just jumble up inside. and now i can't even pin point anything.


but what am i complaining about? i seem happy enough. to others it's almost perfect. i talk about us like everything's absolutely wonderful. i make-believe that there can be nothing better than you. a splash of paint against a white wall may be seen as vandalism. yet i choose to see it as a piece of artwork.


i talk to you about you, me, us, and our future. but the actual future i see in my head? it's a blank.


and i know that tomorrow when i wake up, everything will go back to normal. everything will continue the way it has always been. absolutely perfect. love love, and more love.


when make-believe becomes reality, you don't really know what's real and what's not anymore.

i have been bitten by mysterious obnoxious insect. show no mercy to 6-legged creatures for you know not what they might do to you. be generous with the baygon, lest you end up like me.
species: annoynomous.
side effects: huge red lump with pus. (still growing)




failing eye-sight? can't see what's written?
let Pinky show you how to do it without the nerdy spectacles or flimsy blue tinted contact lenses...





"ahhhh..perfect!" she says.

i'm feeling so bloated.
enough of the junkies.
i need my parents back in singapore to cook me proper meals.
and to do the housework. i dowan to wash dishes mop the floor and scrub the toilet anymore. sob.


and so today i realised i haven't stepped into town since the thai express day. boo boo. i have no life.
hufflelump at cwp at 2.10pm! can't wait!


it's 2.34am!
i should start sleeping at more earthly hours.






DAMAI i'm free next saturday nods nods. (:

a few phrases to describe my past few days...




eat
eat
eat
eat
and eat.




*jiggles fats*

why can't i fall asleep even when i've got you lying by my side?
all i want is a proper 6 hour rest without a single thought lingering in my mind. without the wierd dreams and all.
i'm tired of waiting to be tired out before knocking out for a couple of hours and flipping around in bed drifting in and out of la la land.






i have a new found hobby - housework
keeps you busy all day long...
wheeee.

i lost my pencil in school last thursday.
and today,
baby bought me a nice purple pencil! YAY!

come to think of it, being sick isn't actually that bad. good for the tired mind. heh.

notice!
The monorail will cease operations from 16 March 2005. Please inform all Sentosa guests and island partners that the last monorail service will operat as per normal on 15 March 2005 from 10pm to 10.30pm

i'm feeling blueeeeeee

you know like,

blue blue sky blue kinda blue

rainbow blue blue

sea blue blue

my blue NB shorts blue

my blue pen blue

blue-black blue

blue's clues blue.

blue lar. blue.

i hate this kind of emotional spasms.

i feel like someone's stress ball...being squeezed at released at intervals..

to the one above, stop playing around with me.

monday// do not despise jp even though it's a neighbourhood shopping mall. jp rocks like a rocking chair. heh. met fadz, steph + bf, huiyee + chinaman bf, tianghway + bf, Jia + ed, at jp when i was with apple and cm. woohoo!

and white noise is boring. ZzZzz. waste of my money.

many movies which i wanna catch are coming out!

4th March: Series of Unfortunate Events

10th march: Hufflelump and Boogeyman

17th March: spongebob squarepants

oh my. gonn go broke!

i like home-cooked food.
cm likes packet food.
my mum cooked dinner.
cm came to eat.
now cm knows why i like home-cooked food.
haha.
okay that was tuesday.

today, eun and elaine popped by for more constantine! the more i watch it the more i think that man is so bloody hot. haha i miss the swimming days. elaine please come back to jurong to swim.. abandon clementi! hohooh.

celest why you never come with them sob sob sob. my dear golden haired monkey i haven't seen you for so long! ):

tomorrow i'll be going jp with apple to study. haa. big joke big joke. studying is like Zzzz

okay. can someone tell me how to come up with 100K? i'm absolutely clueless.

and soci sucks like crap la. making me dingey dongeys. bing bong!

going to throw myself out of the window! wheee!